I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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