...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he told me I talked like a deaf person
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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