I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
