Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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