Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
