when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
