I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
