yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
