the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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