I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
