i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
