How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
