I wanna passion pit in your ass
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
