I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
sex in a hospital.. check
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
