yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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