he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
