What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
one might say we're banned from that church
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
