i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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