On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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