this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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