i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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