I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
