So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
