butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
