HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
