Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
