Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
