I smell stomach acid.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
