I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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