I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
