Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
