my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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