so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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