So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
