Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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