he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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