Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
your parents love me but you hate me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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