This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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