I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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