watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
