I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
