hotel room ftw
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
