I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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