He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
