mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
