take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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