It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
