Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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