This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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