just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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